Gidday Kiwi. Agreed, love the mountain stages when these blokes really have to push to the limit. I also enjoy these survival type programmes where someone is freezing their nuts off in the arctic or alternatively fending off enormous insects in some godforsaken jungle with 100% humidity. Watching other people suffer (when it's their choice of course) is always entertaining.
Bernard, just to keep you up to date, today the Tour de France is leaving Germany and heading for Belgium

"Arsenal tell Alexis Sanchez he will not be joining Manchester City as Arsene Wenger refuses to sell stars to rivals

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/footba ... z4leq44pmf

Choice 1 AW sticks to his guns and refuses to sell Sanchez. We lose £50million and Sanchez sits out the early games.

Choice 2 AW is forced to sell Sanchez and AW leaves the club in protest.

What would you prefer?

It has not gone unnoticed by me that you refer to them as Liz and Phil - I smell a family connection here. Cousins or second cousins or just close friends. Or did you meet them at the fox hunt - Sir Chipps is that you?

Windsor is my bet for hoy's real life surname.

If it's leaving Germany the quality of the tracks will fall. Let's hope we beat Chile later today to make up for it. Talking of Chile, I didn't know they had stages of the Tour de France in South America. I know the Amazon jungle doesn't extend to Chile, but when does it go to South America so the bike riders can spend their time "fending off enormous insects in some godforsaken jungle with 100% humidity." The only jungle I've heard of in France is the Calais jungle, which was simply a name given to a migrant camp there.

EDIT: Actually I've just had a brilliant idea. Move the whole bike ride to Germany and call it the 'Reise von Deutschland'. The uphill bit could be done in the Alps instead of the Pyrenees. Add a bit of class to it.

More likely something ending in gina. Regina maybe?

Windsor is my bet for hoy's real life surname.

Funny enough my real-life surname (as opposed to this cybershow) has a royal connection, but apart from some of our Irish posters, I suspect I am the least monarchist of anybody on here.

As good old Tom Paine noted in his Business Plan aka Common Sense: 'There is another and great distinction for which no truly natural or religious reason can be assigned, and that is the distinction of men into KINGS and SUBJECTS. Male and female are the distinctions of nature, good and bad the distinctions of Heaven; but how a race of men came into the world so exalted above the rest, and distinguished like some new species, is worth inquiring into, and whether they are the means of happiness or of misery to mankind...To the evil of monarchy we have added that of hereditary succession; and as the first is a degradation and lessening of ourselves, so the second, claimed as a matter of right, is an insult and imposition on posterity. For all men being originally equals, no one by birth could have a right to set up his own family in perpetual preference to all others for ever, and tho' himself might deserve some decent degree of honours of his contemporaries, yet his descendants might be far too unworthy to inherit them. One of the strongest natural proofs of the folly of hereditary right in Kings, is that nature disapproves it, otherwise she would not so frequently turn it into ridicule, by giving mankind an ASS FOR A LION.'

No prizes for guessing yours ......... either Battenberg or Schicklgruber

Jeez Hoy that will put some interest into the forum with a guessing game on the surname. I don't mind that quote being very anti monarch myself. I recall a time in my early 20s when God Save the Queen was still the national anthem of Oz and I refused to stand at a function. One person seated in 200 drew some comment.

Windsor is my bet for hoy's real life surname.

Enough media outlets reporting Lacazette traveling to London to complete his signing for us for anywhere between £45-52m. I haven't seen him in french football only the champions league, he seems like the all round striker we've been missing since van persie left. He's got 113 goals in the last 4 seasons, 26 years old and has just had the best season of his career. If we're being realistic about our transfers then on paper this is as very good signing.

Sanchez has a poor game once again.................

Lyon CEO Aulas has confirmed the Lacazette deal will go through in the next couple of days for a fee between 45-50m euro.

Good news, we need more options up front.

There's lots of talk about Mahrez too, although Ox looks like he is on the way out

Good on you. You know as much about football as Dame Edna, but I admire your republicanism. Off with their heads!

OMOH's surname is Tudor?

Lacazette should be a good signing because he's pacy with good movement and a very good finisher. I don't think he's at the elite level of strikers but given our current circumstances he's probably close to being as good as we could have realistically expected to get.

I'm a bit like Wilts-Gooner on this though, if he's in addition to Alexis then he's potentially a great signing, if he's instead of Alexis then I'm not sure where it leaves us. We might have actually gone slightly backwards.

I really like Mahrez and hope we sign him but I'm not sure how both him and Özil would work in the same team. Both very lightweight defensively.

Possibly a big if, but if we manage to keep Sanchez and with this signing and one of the wingers we are chasing (be it Mahrez or the Monaco winger), then what formation? There are some players who 'must' start.

This may be less of an issue since we will conceivably have a lot of matches and will need to rotate. The Europa league (still getting used to saying that with the Arsenal in the same sentence) will add more matches, then the domestic cups.

Possibly a big if, but if we manage to keep Sanchez and with this signing and one of the wingers we are chasing (be it Mahrez or the Monaco winger), then what formation? There are some players who 'must' start.

This may be less of an issue since we will conceivably have a lot of matches and will need to rotate. The Europa league (still getting used to saying that with the Arsenal in the same sentence) will add more matches, then the domestic cups.

Lacazette will be an interesting signing for me. He has some positives but I am concerned about how he will be fed the ball. France prefer Giroud and I wonder if in fact that in the EPL he will find it a lot more challenging as he will not have the time he currently has in France. He may well step up but I agree with the comments that he is not top class. It may very well be feast or famine with this player and he is not a replacement for Alexis.

As for Mahrez, I am not a fan. I think he is a slight upgrade on Theo but he does not chase back to defend and last year he was poor in the matches I watched on TV. I am concerned that other managers have sorted him out and he may have been a one season wonder.

Lacazette should be a good signing because he's pacy with good movement and a very good finisher. I don't think he's at the elite level of strikers but given our current circumstances he's probably close to being as good as we could have realistically expected to get.

It seems like Alexis has been sworn to secrecy over his intentions. That usually happens when a player is being allowed to leave but the selling club wishes to get replacements in first before an announcement is made. Plus, any club we are negotiating with will drive the price up even more if they know we have an extra £50m in the kitty from the Alexis sale and are desperate to make signings.